True colors

The time is ripe, my fellow Americans, for a presidential ticket pairing former Vice-President Dick Cheney and retiring Senator Jim Bunning (R-KY) under the proposed slogan "Tough shit. Go fuck yourself."

Starving artist

Last week, Raymond Taylor - serving three consecutive life sentences for attempted murder - "escaped" the North Branch Correctional Institution in Cumberland, Maryland, by posing as a cellmate who was due to be released. Taylor was recaptured the following day in West Virginia...but being Maryland, there is naturally oh-so-much-more to the story, and Taylor's motives for escape, as The Baltimore Sun's Peter Hermann reports:

Taylor had sued a woman on the Eastern Shore named Lavern Jackson for civil damages, claiming she had solicited drawings from him of Shrek and Garfield to sell at a flea market, but then never deposited the promised $685 into his prison bank account...

[From the article "Artwork Suit Set Convict on Path Toward Escape," by Peter Hermann, originally published February 28, 2010, by The Baltimore Sun.]

Parenting Fail of the Living Dead?

Frankly, I'm not sure what to make of a 4-year-old blurting incredulously, "Dead Nazi zombies? But we watched that last time!"

For the record, the evening's movie in question was Dead Snow, but I'm pretty sure the kid was thinking of Shock Waves, or perhaps Outpost.

DEAN WAREHAM & BRITTA PHILLIPS covering BUFFY SAINTE-MARIE's "Moonshot"

THE FABULOUS WAILERS - "Shanghied"

Regular SMILE, HON contributor Doyle-Gillespie publishes book

BALTIMORE, Md. - Regular Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! contributor E. Doyle-Gillespie announces the publication of his book Masala Tea and Oranges, a collection of his poetry that explores the human condition through the lenses of such universals as sex, war, death, love, power and faith.

A Baltimore cop, Doyle-Gillespie is also a former teacher of History and English who holds an MLA from Johns Hopkins University and a BA in History from George Washington University - all of which informs his dark, vivid, often sexually-charged work. Check out his pieces "On History" and "Shopping" in Smile, Hon, You're in Flagrante!, the latest theme issue in the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! series published by Eight-Stone Press. Pick up your copy of Masala Tea and Oranges here.

Back Door Man

Thanks to the 60 or 70-odd (or should I say 60 or 70 odd) people who attended the release party for Smile, Hon, You're in Flagrante! last Friday night at Atomic Books. Stellar showing of readers and listeners alike. Thank you to everyone who came to the reading, as well as special thanks to Atomic for hosting the event.

"IndieBookMan" Brad Grochowski had this to say of the evening:

[W]hat struck me was that we were listening to good, imaginative writing by good imaginative writers that, oh by the way, just happened to be about sex. This was a treat and is thanks to both Tandy for his editorial control, as well as the community of writers he has pulled around him. That you can have a whole evening of sex writing without a moment of cheap smutty erotica, I think, is a sign of good writers. [Read Grochowski's complete review here.]

And of course, afterward, the bartender of a local watering hole telling his patrons that they don't have to go home but that they can't go out the front door because the police have designated the street outside a crime scene for a block in either direction was simply icing on the cake.

Eight-Stone Press Publishes SMILE, HON Sex Issue; Release Party Tonight!

BALTIMORE, Md. - Get between the sheets with Atomic Books and local imprint Eight-Stone Press (ESP) in celebration of the publication of the adults-only Smile, Hon, You're in Flagrante! with a release party from 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. tonight, Friday, February 19, 2010, at Atomic Books, 3620 Falls Road, in Baltimore's Hampden section.

Enjoy refreshments while mingling with depraved contributors (including Rafael Alvarez, William P. Tandy, Caryn Coyle, Fernando Quijano III, Timmy Reed and more), who will regale the listening audience with tales of their Mobtown-inspired sex-ploits. And while you’re at it, pick up a copy of the issue while browsing Baltimore’s original independent, alternative bookstore! Moreover, in the spirit of things, this event will also be an Atomic Swingers mixer; Atomic Swingers is a Facebook group of Atomic Books friends/fans who are single. So if you're not single, be sure to tell your single friends. [NOTE: This event was postponed from the original date of February 11.]

Bondage, embarrassment and accident-induced impotence are but a handful of the sexual situations that arise in Smile, Hon, You’re in Flagrante!, the latest "theme" issue in the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! series. In this issue, JENNA STROKER gives the neighbors a show; RAFAEL ALVAREZ checks into Room 829; ANAL ROBERTS gets Hammerjacked; MISSY KATZ gives foot; and LOLITA HONEYBUSH enjoys a mid-coitus siesta, plus a whole lot more. Contributors include:

- RAHNE ALEXANDER
- RAFAEL ALVAREZ
- H. BADLOVE
- DAVIDA GYPSY BREIER
- ROB BRULINSKI
- ROSIE CHEEKS
- JOHNNY COME-LATELY
- WAYNE COUNTRYMAN
- CARYN COYLE
- DESIREE ENVOUTANT
- FIONA FALL
- S.J. FERRANDI
- JULIE FISHER
- E. DOYLE-GILLESPIE
- SHARON GOLDNER
- REV. ROB GRAVES
- GEORGE HAGEGEORGE
- J.G. HECK
- LOLITA HONEYBUSH
- MISSY KATZ
- PHILIP LAUBNER
- MIKE LEE
- SOMMER MARSDEN
- SIMON MOON
- NEMETZ
- FERNANDO QUIJANO III
- BENN RAY
- DAN “DAMIEN” REED
- TIMMY REED
- ANAL ROBERTS
- CARABELLA SANDS
- ROSALIA SCALIA
- ALISON SEAY
- JEFFREY L. SHIPLEY
- SISTER FISTER
- SQUEEGEE
- CHARLIE “SUBWOOFER” STILES
- JENNA STROKER
- HONORA SULLY
- WILLIAM P. TANDY
- BOM TROWN
- LISA WISEMAN

From the harbor to the hills, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet's fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Previous theme issues have tackled such topics as rats, scars, crime, tattoos, transit and the supernatural.

For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, MD 21212
wpt@eightstonepress.com
http://www.eightstonepress.com
http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress


-30-

School of Rock Concert This Saturday to Support Leukemia & Lymphoma Society of Maryland

Hi, all,

Per below....Dr. Walker and his staff treated me for non-Hodgkin's lymphoma nearly three years ago, and without them I wouldn't be here. This event, which he has helped to orchestrate, benefits the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society of Maryland. And if you know of anyone who may be interested in this event, please feel free to share. Thanks! - WPT


School of Rock Baltimore
Presents
A Concert to Benefit
The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society of Maryland
Saturday, February 20, 2010
7:00 p.m.
Bourbon Street Baltimore

This year, for the first time ever, the School of Rock "Best of Season" show will be a concert to benefit the Maryland Chapter of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS). LLS is the world's largest voluntary health organization dedicated to funding blood cancer research, education, and patient services. LLS's mission: Cure leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin's disease and myeloma, and improve the quality of life of patients and their families.

School of Rock Baltimore is partnering with Dr. Stan Walker, a Baltimore Medical Oncologist who has been nominated for the LLS Man of the Year. The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Man & Woman of the Year (MWOY) campaign is a fundraising competition in communities across the U.S. in which participants vie for the title of Man or Woman of the Year. They raise funds for blood cancer research in honor of local children who are blood cancer survivors, the Boy & Girl of the Year. MWOY is one of hundreds of fundraising events held each year by LLS.

Like previous "Best of Season" shows, this benefit concert will include student-performed songs from each of the Winter 2010 seasonal shows. In addition, there will be performances by special musical guests, live and silent auctions, and appearances by local celebrities. We hope to show just how strong our School of Rock family is by raising a significant amount of money for this worthy charity.


How can you help?

* Buy tickets! 100% of the ticket sales go directly to LLS. Tickets for the benefit are just $20 each* and will be available beginning Saturday, January 9th at the Clapton show. After the 9th, tickets will be on sale at the School of Rock and upcoming seasonal shows.

* Sell tickets! Reach out to family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers for support for this special event. Many of you work for companies that will buy blocks of tickets as a charitable donation so please check into that. Again, 100% of the ticket sales will go directly to LLS.

* Donate and solicit auction items/services. To help us reach our fundraising goal, we need items/services for live and silent auctions. Contact School of Rock parent Chris Tittel at 443-956-3499 or ctittel@comcast.net with auction items. 100% of the money raised at the auction will go to the charity!

* Monetary donations. Monetary donations are greatly appreciated and provide a great way to participate if you can't attend the benefit. Many employers offer a charitable donation-matching program so please check with your employer. We will collect donations at the School of Rock and at each of the seasonal shows.
Again, 100% of all proceeds will be donated to the Maryland Chapter of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society -- that means 100% of all ticket sales, 100% of all auction items, and 100% of all donations.
So, spread the word, talk it up, and let's fill the venue. Let's give back and help our kids help others.

* Each School of Rock student performing in the "Best of Season" show gets into the show for free. Each School of Rock family will be offered their first two tickets for the price of one. Each additional ticket will be $20.

URGENT: Location for Photo Shoot Needed!

A good friend whose work appears in the new Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! sex issue sent the following urgent message overnight. If you can help by providing such a location, please let me know ASAP and I will put you in touch. Thanks! - WPT

I really need help with this one...

I have a shoot setup with a really awesome model, flying in Thursday.... I am booked to shoot with her from 10am til 345pm. We had planned to use another location that whole time, but it's now not available til afternoon. So, you can see that I need to fix this fast. Surely, you know someone in Baltimore with the perfect '50s-era room that would enjoy hosting a gorgeous redhead in lingerie for an hour or so? Bedroom , kitchen, living room, anything cute? Maybe someone in the Atomic/Hampden loop?

Keep feeling around and you'll eventually find it...

Get between the sheets with Atomic Books and local imprint Eight-Stone Press (ESP) in celebration of the sex-themed Smile, Hon, You're in Flagrante!, the latest installment of ESP’s award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! series, with a release party!

Enjoy refreshments while mingling with depraved contributors (including Rafael Alvarez, William P. Tandy, Caryn Coyle, Timmy Reed and more) who will regale the listening audience with their sordid tales. And while you’re at it, pick up a copy of the issue while browsing Baltimore’s original independent, alternative book store!

And in the spirit of things, this event will also be an Atomic Swinger's mixer. Atomic Swingers is a Facebook Group of Atomic Books friends/fans who are single. So if you're not single, be sure to tell your single friends.

SMILE, HON, YOU'RE IN FLAGRANTE! Release Party
7:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m., Friday, February 19, 2010
Atomic Books, 3620 Falls Road, Baltimore
http://www.atomicbooks.com

BOB DYLAN - "Series of Dreams"

SMILE, HON, YOU'RE IN BALTIMORE! "Sex Issue" Release Party

BALTIMORE - Get between the sheets with Atomic Books and local imprint Eight-Stone Press (ESP’s) in celebration of the sex-themed Smile, Hon, You're in Flagrante!, the latest installment of ESP’s award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! series, with a release party from 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m., Friday, February 19, 2010, at Atomic Books, 3620 Falls Road, in Baltimore's Hampden neighborhood.

Enjoy refreshments while mingling with depraved contributors (including Rafael Alvarez, William P. Tandy, Caryn Coyle, Timmy Reed and more) who will regale the listening audience with their sordid tales. And while you’re at it, pick up a copy of the issue while browsing Baltimore’s original independent, alternative bookstore! And in the spirit of things, this event will also be an Atomic Swingers mixer; Atomic Swingers is a Facebook Group of Atomic Books friends/fans who are single. So if you're not single, be sure to tell your single friends. [NOTE: This event was postponed from the original date of February 11.]

Bondage, embarrassment and accident-induced impotence are but a handful of the sexual situations that arise in SMILE, HON, YOU’RE IN FLAGRANTE!, the latest theme in a series that has previously tackled such topics as scars, rats, crime and tattoos. In this issue, JENNA STROKER gives the neighbors a show; RAFAEL ALVAREZ checks into Room 829; ANAL ROBERTS gets Hammerjacked; MISSY KATZ gives foot; and LOLITA HONEYBUSH enjoys a mid-coitus siesta, plus a whole lot more. For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, MD 21212
wpt@eightstonepress.com
http://www.eightstonepress.com
http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress


-30-

LOS MIRLOS - "La Cumbia de los Mirlos"

In light of today's weather, I'm officially switching my political affiliation to the Donner Party.

In the meantime...

"Dixon sentenced on charges of perjury, embezzlement"

That's right, folks - for the next 45 minutes, Baltimore City lacks a top official...suggesting the position is up for grabs to anyone who can claim it within that frame of time, by show of force or otherwise. Hell, we can secede from the Union before dinner, and, per the Nemetz Doctrine, thereby elevate public-access to the status of "national television"...