Wednesday, December 30, 2009

LOS FABULOSOS CADILLACS - "Calaveras y Diablitos"

ROBERT MITCHUM - "Ballad of Thunder Road"

But the fire is so delightful...

BALTIMORE - Literary zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of sex-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for a forthcoming special issue through Tuesday, January 5, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred (we're not looking for Penthouse's sloppy seconds here), though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears. (Note: Contributors may use their own names, or, for anonymity, adopt a nom de plume, preferably of a raunchy or comical nature, for the purposes of the issue.)

From the harbor to the hills, the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet’s fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Previous "theme" issues have tackled such topics as rats, scars, crime, tattoos, transit and the supernatural.

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA); Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL) and Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress


-30-

Look sharp, ladies....

Karl Rove is single once again...

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

THE FABULOUS WAILERS - "Dirty Robber"

Come on - you know you want to...

BALTIMORE - Literary zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of sex-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for a forthcoming special issue through Tuesday, January 5, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred (we're not looking for Penthouse's sloppy seconds here), though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears. (Note: Contributors may use their own names, or, for anonymity, adopt a nom de plume, preferably of a raunchy or comical nature, for the purposes of the issue.)

From the harbor to the hills, the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet’s fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Previous "theme" issues have tackled such topics as rats, scars, crime, tattoos, transit and the supernatural.

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA); Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL) and Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress


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Saturday, December 26, 2009

SMILE, HON wants your dirty stories!

BALTIMORE - Literary zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of sex-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for a forthcoming special issue through Tuesday, January 5, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred (we're not looking for Penthouse's sloppy seconds here), though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears. (Note: Contributors may use their own names, or, for anonymity, adopt a nom de plume, preferably of a raunchy or comical nature, for the purposes of the issue.)

From the harbor to the hills, the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet’s fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Previous "theme" issues have tackled such topics as rats, scars, crime, tattoos, transit and the supernatural.

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA); Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL) and Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress


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Thursday, December 24, 2009

Expect the First When the Bell Tolls One...

But why do spirits walk the earth, and why do they come to me? - Ebenezer Scrooge


Indeed, there's little doubt as to which color Mr. Scrooge's state of residence would be had he been born an American 150 years later. Peace on earth. Goodwill toward men. And smart bombs for the rest of you.

But it was thoughts of Christmas shopping that kept me going through the bitter December wind that had driven most other living things indoors. Did I get a gift for so-and-so? Should I buy a gift for what's-his-name? And would I have enough left over to anoint myself with sacramental booze? Such was the occupation of my mind as I started out, harbor-bound, over the Light Street skywalk.

It was the hair that first caught my attention. There, from the far end of the skywalk (and closing) came the form of a woman toting several large shopping bags and the strangest coif I'd ever seen, wrapping over the top of her head from jaw line to jaw line to form a hairy gray ellipse.

The hair – yes, it was the hair. And the distinction of being the only other soul within eyeshot. A fellow soldier of the faith, sallying forth and cold be damned.

But things took a sobering turn as she rounded the bend on the skywalk, and the closing distance revealed to my wondering eyes that she was not really a she at all. Nor was the hair one giant 'do, as it had first appeared, but rather a great salty patch supported by a pair of monstrously bushy mutton chops, each at its widest point equaling no less than half the width of the face it ensconced.

Indeed, I was in a holiday-shopping showdown with another man – and a bizarrely-coiffed one at that – in the December-frozen heart of downtown Baltimore.

Like any red-blooded American male I fixed my gaze on an indeterminate point ahead and marched onward, closing the distance between us ever-further, until we were on the verge of passing. At this point curiosity got the better of me, and I shot a quick port-side glance, first at the passing hair, then the face...

It took several steps after I had passed him for it to register.

It was Richard Chamberlain.

I froze on the spot as he toted his finds in the direction of the Hyatt, and then it hit me. I remembered seeing mention on television the night before of the opening of a production of Dickens' A Christmas Carol at the Hippodrome Theater only a few blocks away, with the mutton-chopped lead of Scrooge played by none other than TV's Dr. Kildare.

I stood there for a moment, processing the scene, with all previous thoughts exorcised from the mind. What should I do? I wondered. What could I do? And did anything, in fact, need to be done at all?

Fuck it, I thought. After all, it's not every day one has a brush with fame on the windswept skywalk over Light Street.

"Mr. Chamberlain!" I yelled, running to catch up. "Mr. Chamberlain!"

He stopped on the spot and turned to face me, his great bushy whiskers knitting an expression of confusion across his face that suggested I had interrupted the unwritten holiday shopping list in his mind.

"Yes?" he said.

I introduced myself and shook his hand, then immediately drew a blank. Beautiful – I had his attention, but now what? What could I say? To make matters worse, my mind suddenly drew a blank when it came to anything I'd seen him in. Slowly, I began to speak.

"So," I said, “you're starring in that new production of A Christmas Carol."

"Yes."

"Ah. And that's over at the Hippodrome?"

"Yes."

"They just renovated it last year. Nice place."

"Yes, it is."

"Well, enjoy your stay in Baltimore. It was nice to meet you."

"Yes. Thank you."

And with that we went about our separate ways – to finish the job, as it were – as the frozen Christmas wind blessed the empty streets of the Baltimore waterfront.


Copyright © 2004 by William P. Tandy

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

TWO FIREFIGHTERS were injured and some 200 people evacuated from the Guinness brewery at St James’s Gate, Dublin, yesterday when a fire started during roof repairs on a storage warehouse at the site... - THE IRISH TIMES

Go on, skip to the good parts...

BALTIMORE - Literary zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of sex-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for a forthcoming special issue through Tuesday, January 5, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred (we're not looking for Penthouse's sloppy seconds here), though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears. (Note: Contributors may use their own names, or, for anonymity, adopt a nom de plume, preferably of a raunchy or comical nature, for the purposes of the issue.)

From the harbor to the hills, the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet’s fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Previous "theme" issues have tackled such topics as rats, scars, crime, tattoos, transit and the supernatural.

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA); Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL) and Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress


-30-

UTNE praises Baltimore's "thriving independent literary scene"

Baltimore's "thriving independent literary scene should serve as an inspiration to anyone, in any city, who feels the creative slump of the economic recession and fears there’s little room for imagination or innovation..." - Danielle Maestretti, UTNE READER (January/February 2010)

Monday, December 21, 2009

UTNE Profiles SMILE, HON, Baltimore Literary Scene

Utne Reader profiles Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore!, and Mobtown's literary scene in general, in its January/February 2010 issue. In her article "Baltimore: The City That Reads", author Danielle Maestretti notes:

Though Smile, Hon very much inhabits its native city, the publication will appeal to anyone who is compelled by the darkly funny, serendipitous, sometimes undignified realities of urban existence...

Read the complete article here.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

SMILE, HON is looking for dirty stories!


BALTIMORE - Literary zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of sex-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for a forthcoming special issue through Tuesday, January 5, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred (we're not looking for Penthouse's sloppy seconds here), though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears. (Note: Contributors may use their own names, or, for anonymity, adopt a nom de plume, preferably of a raunchy or comical nature, for the purposes of the issue.)

From the harbor to the hills, the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet’s fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Previous "theme" issues have tackled such topics as rats, scars, crime, tattoos, transit and the supernatural.

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA); Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL) and Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress


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Saturday, December 19, 2009

SMILE, HON: Dirty Old Town

BALTIMORE - Literary zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of sex-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for a forthcoming special issue through Tuesday, January 5, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred (we're not looking for Penthouse's sloppy seconds here), though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears. (Note: Contributors may use their own names, or, for anonymity, adopt a nom de plume, preferably of a raunchy or comical nature, for the purposes of the issue.)

From the harbor to the hills, the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet’s fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Previous "theme" issues have tackled such topics as rats, scars, crime, tattoos, transit and the supernatural.

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA); Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL) and Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress


-30-

SMILE, HON: Left to Your Imagination

BALTIMORE - Literary zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of sex-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for a forthcoming special issue through Tuesday, January 5, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred (we're not looking for Penthouse's sloppy seconds here), though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears. (Note: Contributors may use their own names, or, for anonymity, adopt a nom de plume, preferably of a raunchy or comical nature, for the purposes of the issue.)

From the harbor to the hills, the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet’s fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Previous "theme" issues have tackled such topics as rats, scars, crime, tattoos, transit and the supernatural.

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA); Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL) and Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress


-30-

TWISTED SISTER - "O Come, All Ye Faithful"

Friday, December 18, 2009

CHANGE TO UNITED STATES POSTAL CODE, Section 508, Paragraph 12

And so, in the absence of any objection, the unofficial creed of the United States Postal Service is hereby amended:

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. Unless it's 20 minutes till they close for lunch. And he or she is the only one behind the counter. With 14 people in line. Prompting said United States Postal Service representative (hereafter referred to as "the Reperesentative") to turn those outside away by announcing, "We will reopen at three," before locking the door in their faces. Thereby ensuring that the outside people remain that way, while those inside who have finished their business remain inside until such time as said Representative has deemed them fit for release. Fire code? Not our department, sir. Wait to get in, wait to get out. We reopen at three. Next.

Sarah Palin Recycles!

People! It's quite obvious that Sarah Palin's intentions here went no further than her simply trying to "be incognito". (I mean, have you priced brand-new, unmarked sun visors these days?)

Words are Hot

BALTIMORE - Literary zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of sex-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for a forthcoming special issue through Tuesday, January 5, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred (we're not looking for Penthouse's sloppy seconds here), though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears. (Note: Contributors may use their own names, or, for anonymity, adopt a nom de plume, preferably of a raunchy or comical nature, for the purposes of the issue.)

From the harbor to the hills, the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet’s fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Previous "theme" issues have tackled such topics as rats, scars, crime, tattoos, transit and the supernatural.

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA); Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL) and Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress


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Thursday, December 17, 2009

Smile, Hon, You're in Flagrante!

BALTIMORE - Literary zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of sex-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for a forthcoming special issue through Tuesday, January 5, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred (we're not looking for Penthouse's sloppy seconds here), though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears. (Note: Contributors may use their own names, or, for anonymity, adopt a nom de plume, preferably of a raunchy or comical nature, for the purposes of the issue.)

From the harbor to the hills, the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet’s fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Previous "theme" issues have tackled such topics as rats, scars, crime, tattoos, transit and the supernatural.

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA); Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL) and Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress


-30-

SMILE, HON seeks stories for upcoming "sex" issue

BALTIMORE - Literary zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of sex-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for a forthcoming special issue through Tuesday, January 5, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred (we're not looking for Penthouse's sloppy seconds here), though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears. (Note: Contributors may use their own names, or, for anonymity, adopt a nom de plume, preferably of a raunchy or comical nature, for the purposes of the issue.)

From the harbor to the hills, the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet’s fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Previous "theme" issues have tackled such topics as rats, scars, crime, tattoos, transit and the supernatural.

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore); Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago) and Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress


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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

SMILE, HON, YOU'RE IN BALTIMORE! seeks submissions for upcoming "sex" issue

BALTIMORE - Literary zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of sex-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for a forthcoming special issue through Tuesday, January 5, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred (we're not looking for Penthouse's sloppy seconds here), though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears. (Note: Contributors may use their own names, or, for anonymity, adopt a nom de plume, preferably of a raunchy or comical nature, for the purposes of the issue.)

From the harbor to the hills, the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet’s fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Previous "theme" issues have tackled such topics as rats, scars, crime, tattoos, transit and the supernatural.

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore); Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago) and Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress


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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

WEIRD AL YANKOVIC - "The Night Santa Went Crazy"

Then he smiled as he said
With a twinkle in his eye
"Merry Christmas to all
Now you're all gonna die!...

Come On, Give Us a Peek...

BALTIMORE - Literary zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of sex-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for a forthcoming special issue through Tuesday, January 5, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred (we're not looking for Penthouse's sloppy seconds here), though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears. (Note: Contributors may use their own names, or, for anonymity, adopt a nom de plume, preferably of a raunchy or comical nature, for the purposes of the issue.)

From the harbor to the hills, the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet’s fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Previous "theme" issues have tackled such topics as rats, scars, crime, tattoos, transit and the supernatural.

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore); Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago) and Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress


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THE RAMONES - "Merry Christmas (I Don't Want to Fight Tonight)"

Saturday, December 12, 2009

WARREN ZEVON - "Even a Dog Can Shake Hands"

"Even a Dog Can Shake Hands" originally appeared on the Zevon album Sentimental Hygiene. Trivia: Zevon is backed here (as he is on the rest of the album) by three-quarters of REM (Buck, Mills and Berry), with whom he would collaborate on a subsequent album under the name Hindu Love Gods. The song was also used as the opening theme of the short-lived television show Action...

Thursday, December 10, 2009

SMILE, HON Release Party Tonight!

Picture an alternate universe in which the King of '70s/'80s/'90s Pop was not Michael Jackson, but, in fact, Earl Scruggs. Then, come listen to it tonight, as Baltimore's own Wild Bonerz tear it up with a free live performance at the Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! No. 12 Release Party! The fun begins at 7:00 p.m. at Cyclops Books & Music, 30 W. North Avenue, Baltimore, MD 21201...



For more information, e-mail wpt@eightstonepress.com or andy@cyclopsbooks.com.


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Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Famous Last Words, No. 8,978,835

God himself could not sink Australia...

Of course, this means we'll have James Cameron's even-more-bloated reinterpretation of Baz Luhrmann's movie to look forward to (though they have both worked with Leonardo DiCaprio, so there should be some consistency)...

If He Can't Get Streisand, Will He Settle for Midler?


From The New York Times:

Senator Orrin G. Hatch, a solemn-faced Republican with a soft spot for Jews and a love of Barbra Streisand, has penned a catchy holiday tune, 'Eight Days of Hanukkah'...

Like Larry Craig, it's no doubt a real toe-tapper.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

BALTIMORE SCIENCE FICTION SOCIETY Young Writers' Contest

OPEN TO:
Maryland students, ages 14-18

CASH PRIZES:
First - $150; Second - $100; Third - $50

The three winners shall also receive complimentary registrations for the Balticon Science Fiction Convention for themselves and their parents or one guest each and a free Balticon T-Shirt.

a. The deadline is March 31, 2010.
Submissions must be in the field of science fiction or fantasy. For more information, visit the contest website: www.bsfs.org/bsfsywc.

b. Submissions shall be no more than 2,500 words in length.

c. All submissions should include a title page with the title of the story, the entrant's name, home address, evening phone number, and e-mail address if possible. Also, please include your English teacher's name (or note if home-schooled).

d. Paper submissions must have numbered pages - all submissions must have a footer with the title and page number. They should not have the entrant's name or other identifying information on the individual pages. Paper submissions should be typed or printed, double-spaced, on 8.5" x 11" (letter-size) paper.

e. Electronic submissions must be sent as an e-mail attachment in either Microsoft Word or Word perfect format. Otherwise, they must be printed out and submitted on paper. One contestant may submit multiple entries, but only one prize may be won by any one entrant.

f. The winners will be contacted before the convention and their names will be announced to the public at the next Balticon on Memorial Day Weekend, 2010, just before the Masquerade at 8:30 p.m. Winners need not be present to receive their prizes.

g. Address paper submissions to:

Balticon Young Writers' Contest
BSFS, Inc.
P.O. Box 686
Baltimore, MD 21203-0686

h. E-mail electronic submissions to: "ywc AT balticon DOT org"

i. Judges shall be drawn from the membership of BSFS, Inc. All submissions become the property of Baltimore Science Fiction Society Inc. (BSFS, Inc.), and may be published in Society publications.


For additional information, call the BSFS Building at (410) 563-2737 or the coordinator at (410) 823-8913, or e-mail "ywc AT balticon DOT org". Convention information is available online at www.balticon.org. For general organization information and science fiction resources, visit www.bsfs.org.

Smile, Hon...

..."It's Unusual for Downtown Hotels, in General!"

How Dirty / Hot / Filthy / Sloppy / Wet / Nasty Can You Be for This Issue?

Come on, folks, we're talking Baltimore here...

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Come On, Let's See What Ya Got...

I'm Always Amazed...


...by the number of people who invoke reading Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! and going to the bathroom in the same breath. (Indeed, one of the earliest critiques I received came by way of a postcard, which bore the scrawl, "I laughed so hard I almost fell off the toilet.") Given the commode's status as one of the last bastions of relative solitude, I consider it the utmost compliment.

Sunday morning...

...comin' down, motherfucker!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Do the Big Nasty, Baltimore!

BALTIMORE - Literary zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of sex-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for a forthcoming special issue through Tuesday, January 5, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred (we're not looking for Penthouse's sloppy seconds here), though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears. (Note: Contributors may use their own names, or, for anonymity, adopt a nom de plume, preferably of a raunchy or comical nature, for the purposes of the issue.)

From the harbor to the hills, the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet’s fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Previous "theme" issues have tackled such topics as rats, scars, crime, tattoos, transit and the supernatural.

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore); Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago) and Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress


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SERGE GAINSBOURG - "L'anamour"

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Take It Off for SMILE, HON!

BALTIMORE - Literary zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of sex-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for a forthcoming special issue through Tuesday, January 5, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred (we're not looking for Penthouse's sloppy seconds here), though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears. (Note: Contributors may use their own names, or, for anonymity, adopt a nom de plume, preferably of a raunchy or comical nature, for the purposes of the issue.)

From the harbor to the hills, the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet’s fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Previous "theme" issues have tackled such topics as rats, scars, crime, tattoos, transit and the supernatural.

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore); Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago) and Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress


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Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Smile, Hon...

Promoting a (somewhat) positive image of Baltimore, so City Hall and the State's Attorney's Office don't have to.

Don't Risk Indictment...

...with big-box store gift cards this holiday season. Instead, check out what these local, independent businesses have to offer.

THE MIGHTY BOOSH - "Tale of the Crack Fox"

Lately, I've been watching The Mighty Boosh, from the UK, which may be the new epitome of fucked-up, ludicrously absurd humor. Behold this clip from the "Crack Fox" episode, perhaps my favorite yet...

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

TOMMY ROE - "Sheila"

Eight-Stone Press Publishes SMILE, HON No. 12

BALTIMORE – Shakedowns, drug busts and old bones in the cellar are but a few nuggets unearthed in the "urban terrarium" of Smile, Hon, You’re in Baltimore! No. 12, edited by William P. Tandy and published by Eight-Stone Press.

In this issue, JEANNIE HEGARTY clears her calendar for a drug bust next door; JOE HIGLER consoles a hometown son-made-good on a tragic anniversary; BEN SHABERMAN fancies himself a 2A contender; fate deals RAHNE ALEXANDER a flush; and LISA SINGER decides Baltimore is as far south as she’s willing to work, plus a whole lot more. Other contributors include:

- KEITH A. BERRY
- SUSAN BEVERLY
- A. AUBREY BODINE
- DAVIDA GYPSY BREIER
- ROB BRULINSKI
- CARYN COYLE
- S.J. FERRANDI
- SIOBHAN FITZPATRICK
- MARTHA GATEWOOD
- E. DOYLE-GILLESPIE
- SHARON GOLDNER
- TRACEY HEDRICK GRAHAM
- ROB HATCH
- J.G. HECK
- NEIL LEVIN
- SARAH JANE MILLER
- DAVIS MORTON
- BENN RAY
- DAN REED
- ELIZABETH FAITH REED
- TIMMY REED
- ALISON SEAY
- JEFFREY SHIPLEY
- JENA SHLOCK
- WILLIAM P. TANDY
- MATT TERZI

A release party featuring author readings, a live performance by the Wild Bonerz, refreshments and more will be held beginning at approximately 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, December 10, at Cyclops Books and Music, 30 W. North Avenue (at the intersection of Maryland Avenue), Baltimore, Maryland 21201.

From the harbor to the hills, the submission-based Smile, Hon, You’re in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark: polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet's fleeting sentiment captured in both word and snapshot – a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored, DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by both Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004).

Smile, Hon, You’re in Baltimore! is an Eight-Stone Press production and is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore); Cyclops Books (Baltimore); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago) and Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, MD 21212
E-mail: wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress


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Monday, November 30, 2009

TOM LEHRER - "A Christmas Carol"

Relatives sparing no expense'll
Send some useless old utensil
Or a matching pen and pencil
Just the thing I need - how nice...

Cyber Monday

Featuring ghost stories, zombies, glow-in-the-dark Johnny Eck shirts and more, the (revised) Eight-Stone Press Baltimore Shopping Guide lets you shop locally without ever leaving home!

Friday, November 27, 2009

Speaking of which...

Author (and fellow Jersey boy who evidently never shared my questionable sense to leave) Jeff Somers explains why all serious writers need a little pussy...

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

NASHVILLE PUSSY - "She's Got the Drugs"

Happy Thanksgiving, LDS...

Eight-Stone Press Baltimore Shopping Guide

Well, folks, the time is at hand - it's the holidays, and we're all buying stuff. And even if you're one of those attempting to shun the crass consumerism of the holiday season, as a functioning member of so-called civilized society, chances are you'll inevitably be out there buying something of some kind for someone sooner or later. So, rather than loading up on a bunch of mass-produced plastic made everywhere else but here, why not pick up something unique while helping to support your community in the process?

For this very purpose, we here at Eight-Stone Press - publisher of the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! series - have compiled the following "Shopping Guide" to promote goods and services that in some way, shape or form actually have some bearing on Baltimore. Listings are alphabetical, under a series of headings, including:

- BALTIMORE (items that uniquely represent and explore Baltimore's character and history)
- BOOKSELLERS (independently-owned and operated retail stores)
- FILM (independently-owned and operated movie houses and video stores, as well as locally-produced films)
- FOOD (local places that offer good things to eat)
- MUSIC (Baltimore-based bands, singer/songwriters and other artists)
- PHOTOGRAPHY (Baltimore-based and or/-centric photography)
- TATTOOS (get inked in Baltimore!)
- THEATER (locally-based theater companies)
- WORDS (locally-based and/or influenced writers and publishers)

Please note that this shopping guide represents a choice (on our part) selection of entities and individuals, and is not intended as a comprehensive list of all the fine independently-owned and operated businesses and/or products throughout the greater Baltimore area. For more information on the advantages of buying locally, visit http://www.buylocalbaltimore.com/pages/ind_why.html. In the meantime, without further ado...

But wait! First, allow us to quickly tell you of a few specials that Eight-Stone Press is offering for a limited time:

*** Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! Complete Theme Pack. Includes: Giving Up the Ghost (supernatural stories); Infestation! (rat stories); Show Me Yours, Show You Mine (scar stories); Criminally Yours (crime stories); Skin Deep (tattoo stories); Intersections (transit stories). Cost: $16 (price includes shipping).

*** The Complete Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! (No. 1-12) Set. Includes all 12 regular issues of the award-winning zine. Cost: $35 (price includes shipping).

*** In addition, Eight-Stone Press, in conjunction with Leeking Inc., proudly offers the Baltimore "Whistling Past the Graveyard" Gift Pack. Includes: One (1) Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! t-shirt; Giving Up the Ghost (supernatural stories); Infestation! (rat stories); Rigor Mortis No. 1 and Rigor Mortis No. 2 (horror/zombie-related essays, reviews, etc.). Cost: $25 (price includes shipping).

*** All orders received by 12/31/09 for our locally hand-screened t-shirts will also include a free copy of Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! Cost: $17 (price includes shipping).

http://eightstonepress.com/shoppingguide.htm

Mail check, money order, stamps, cash or PayPal (please send to davida@leekinginc.com) to:
Willam P. Tandy
PO Box 11064
Baltimore, MD
21212 USA

And now, without further ado…

BALTIMORE
AAubreyBodine.com
Regarded as one of the finest photographers of the 20th century, A. Aubrey Bodine's pictures were exhibited in hundreds of prestigious shows, scores of museums, and he won awards against top competition. His photographs were seen in The Sunday Sun from 1927 to 1970. More than 6,000 photographs spanning his career are available online, as is information about licenses, reprints and notecards. [(800) 556-7226; http://www.aaubreybodine.com]

Baltimore Ghost Tours
Originally centered in Fell's Point, this locally owned and operated business has expanded to offer walking tours of Baltimore's historic Mt. Vernon neighborhood, in addition to its original Fell's Point GhostWalk and Fell's Point Haunted PubWalk. Local actors serve as the tour guides. [(410) 522-7400; http://www.baltimoreghosttours.com]

"Baltimore's Harbor Haunts: True Ghost Stories"
Baltimore has harbor neighborhoods that have a long and colorful history of industry, immigrants…and ghosts. This spellbinding book - the culmination of a decade of research and first-person interviews by co-authors Melissa Rowell and Amy Lynwander - exposes some of their unknown histories and uncovers 37 hauntings along the waterfront. From the ghost of a drowned boy in Canton to famous ghosts of Ft. McHenry, these tantalizing stories pay homage to the people who remained behind. [http://www.baltimoreghosttours.com/merchandise.html]

JohnnyEckMuseum.com
Billed as the "Half-Man", Baltimore native Johnny Eck made a name for himself early in life through appearances on the sideshow circuit and, most notably, in director Tod Browning's 1931 classic Freaks. In later years, Eck became a renowned painter of window screens, a common practice in his East Baltimore neighborhood since the early 1900s. Visit the website for t-shirts, limited-edition prints, photographs and more. [http://www.johnnyeckmuseum.com]

BOOKSELLERS
Atomic Books
A fixture in Baltimore's Hampden neighborhood since 2001 (and elsewhere in the city before that), the one and only Atomic Books is Mobtown's premier independent store specializing in underground, independent and alternative books, comics, art, toys, maga/zines and more. [3620 Falls Road, Baltimore, MD 21211; (410) 662-4444; http://www.atomicbooks.com]

AuthorsBookshop.com
This online bookstore is dedicated to selling self-published, independently published and small-press published books. AuthorsBookshop.com offers a home for indie books that is friendly, helpful and profitable for authors and small presses. A great place for book-buyers who want to feel good about where their books are coming from. [http://www.authorsbookshop.com]

Cyclops Books & Music
Owner/proprietor Andy Rubin had scarcely shuttered his previous store, Baltimore Chop Books, when he opened Cyclops Books & Music in Baltimore's burgeoning Station North Arts District earlier this year. Several times larger than Baltimore Chop, Cyclops features a broad variety of books, frequent live music, an in-house art gallery and more. There's plenty of space inside to park your bike, and should you come by car, Cyclops will even pay your meter. [30 West North Avenue, Baltimore, MD 21201; (410) 752-4487; http://www.facebook.com/cyclopsbmore]

Normal's
A stone's throw from the ever-popular Waverly Farmers Market, this collectively-run independent shop is overflowing with good (and frequently hard-to-find) stuff ranging from books and small-press publications to records and CDs. [425 E. 31st Street, Baltimore, MD 21218; (410) 243-6888; http://www.normals.com]

Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse
This worker-owned, collectively-managed bookstore and coffeehouse is located in Baltimore's Mt. Vernon neighborhood. Here, you will find books and periodicals on a wide range of topics, with a focus on radical politics and culture. The coffeehouse offers fair-trade, organic coffee and espresso, as well as a selection of vegan and vegetarian food. Red Emma's also features free Internet access, both through WiFi and public-access terminals. [800 St. Paul Street, Baltimore, MD 21202; (410) 230-0450; http://www.redemmas.org]

Ukazoo Books
Just across the street from Towsontowne Center, Ukazoo Books features an extensive selection of more than 100,000 new and used books (including tens of thousands of out-of-print titles) to choose from. Ukazoo also buys your used books in exchange for cash, or a slightly higher amount in store credit. [730 Dulaney Valley Road, Towson, MD 21204; (410) 832-BOOK; http://www.ukazoo.com]

FILM
The Charles Theatre
Located in one of Charles Street's most intriguing historic buildings, the 1,150-seat, 23,000 square-foot Charles Theatre offers first-run specialty films in addition to Hollywood movies, foreign films and cinema classics. [1711 N. Charles Street, Baltimore, MD 21201; (410) 727-FILM; http://www.thecharles.com]

"Fell's Point Out of Time"
In this 2004 documentary, director/producer Jacquie Greff tells the story of the historic Baltimore waterfront community of Fell's Point, from its early years as the home of the famed privateers to its decline and near-demolition, as well as its more recent (and controversial) rebirth. Residents, friends, and those who frequent the area tell Fell's Point's story using conversational interviews, with overlaid scenes of the community as well as archival photographs. [http://www.fellspointoutoftime.us]

"The Last Season"
Shot, edited, written and directed by Charles Cohen and Joseph Mathew, this 70-minute documentary captures the almost ritualistic reaction to the demise of Baltimore's beloved Memorial Stadium. The film features a cast of characters that includes fans, ball players, demolition workers, politicians, neighborhood activists, journalists, a historian, an architect and a cab driver once famous for leading 50,000 fans to a rollicking boil. [http://www.memorialstadium.org/project_files/buy_the_video.html]

"Livelihood"
In this locally shot and produced zombie comedy, the lead singer of an '80s rock band, a corporate lackey and an evil mother-in-law all die unexpectedly in a bizarre series of events. They come back to life, hoping to pick up where they left off before they died, but instead are confronted by prejudice, long-hidden secrets and the general inconvenience of being dead. [http://www.livelihoodmovie.com]

Video Americain
From weary young parents looking for a good laugh on a Saturday night to young art-school students who feel that incomprehensibility, in film and in life, is a virtue to seniors for whom two hours with Fred or Gene brings a twinkle back to their eye, Video Americain has the right film for you, and great people to help you get it. Look for the Roland Park location's cameo in John Waters's 1994 comedy Serial Mom. [Roland Park Store - 400 W. Cold Spring Lane, Baltimore, MD 21210; (410) 243-2231; Charles Village Store - 3100 St. Paul Street, Baltimore, MD 21218; (410) 889-5266; http://www.videoamericain.com]

FOOD
Brunie's Bakery
Brunie's Bakery is on a mission to prove that vegan baking can be creative, decadently delicious and aesthetically pleasing. Whether you're searching for triple-layer gourmet cakes filled with from-scratch custard or a mouth-watering flaky Danish, look no further than Brunie's. Using only the finest premium, natural and mostly organic ingredients, Brunie's bakes unbeatable cakes, pies, donuts, bars, cookies and muffins. [http://www.bruniesbakery.com]

Emily's Desserts
This new bakery offers, among other things, fresh gluten-free vegan doughnuts. [4901 Springarden Drive, Baltimore, MD 21209; (443) 858-7045; http://www.emilysdesserts.com]

MUSIC
The Crawdaddies
The locally-based Crawdaddies' music incorporates everything from the Cajun/Zydeco/Blues sounds of Louisiana to Roots Rock, Americana and Ska, creating a sound that is uniquely their own. Their song "Louise", from the CD Keep Lookin' Up, was recently nominated for "Best Cajun Song" in the 2009 Just Plain Folks Music Awards. [http://www.thecrawdaddies.com]

Cyclops Books & Music
Owner/proprietor Andy Rubin had scarcely shuttered his previous store, Baltimore Chop Books, when he opened Cyclops Books & Music in Baltimore's burgeoning Station North Arts District earlier this year. Several times larger than Baltimore Chop, Cyclops features a broad variety of books, frequent live music, an in-house art gallery and more. There's plenty of space inside to park your bike, and should you come by car, Cyclops will even pay your meter. [30 West North Avenue, Baltimore, MD 21201; (410) 752-4487; http://www.facebook.com/cyclopsbmore]

The Degenerettes
Influenced by years on the garage rock, soul, roots, and punk rock scenes (as well as obsessive movie-watching), The Degenerettes' bass-driven, jangly fuzz-guitar sounds combine with Rahne Alexander's literary, often humorous songwriting to create multiple narrative universes - from torrid mummy love affairs to teenybopper spies to Baltimore streets. They're the soundtrack of the Velvet Underground and the Runaways on a big gay double-date at a midnight movie. Check out their debut album, this year's Bad Girls Go to Hell. (Alexander is also a regular Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! contributor.) [http://www.facebook.com/thedegenerettes]

The Diamondheads
Diamond Head at Dusk, the most recent release from "Baltimore's Favorite Surf Guitar Instrumental Band", features 15 original instrumentals influenced by the likes of The Ventures, Link Wray, Duane Eddy, The Shadows and Freddie King, to name just a few. Plenty of splashy reverb, twang and thunder here! [http://www.thediamondheads.com/cdinfo.html]

The Dirty Marmaduke Flute Squad
This band of interstellar misfits made their way to Baltimore in 2005 after their makeshift cardboard banana spaceship overheated, and eventually crashed into a Party City in Towson, Maryland, USA, Earth. Since then, they've run the gamut of opportunity in the indie rock world, self-producing, promoting and marketing everything they do. They've seen glorious successes and earth-shattering failures - but when they fail, at least they do it cheaply. Check out their magnum opus, Die Humpin!, and related merchandise. [http://www.flutesquad.com]

The Hilltop Hightops
Together, Captain Ryan, Space Pirate Extraordinaire, Professor Doktor Von Science, Drumbot, HorsePower and Mathstronaut are on a mission to save Earth from boring and bland children's music. Check out their debut album, Super Galactic Space Banana. [http://www.facebook.com/hilltophightops]

Normal's
A stone's throw from the ever-popular Waverly Farmers' Market, this collectively-run independent shop is overflowing with good (and frequently hard-to-find) stuff ranging from books and small-press publications to records and CDs. [425 E. 31st Street, Baltimore, MD 21218; (410) 243-6888; http://www.normals.com]

Reptilian Records
Looking for amazing, rare punk, hardcore, industrial and more? Look no further. Since closing its bricks-and-mortar retail location, Reptilian Records has converted to a completely online platform. While there, be sure to visit the home of Scapegoat Publishing, dedicated to producing fine art, fiction and non-fictional works of quality for a discriminating audience, focusing on the dark, sometimes-sinister, often-controversial endeavors of intrepid explorers of our cultural underworld. [http://www.reptilianrecords.com]

Sahffi
An all-original, Baltimore-based musician, Sahffi offers a spontaneous blend of rock, folk and blues, all stemming from her early love of classical music. Her second album, Turning Tides, features her regular band as well as many special guest artists, including Rene Hernandez of the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra, Jason Love of the Columbia Orchestra, Rob Thorworth and Ken Gutberlet. [http://www.sahffi.com]

The Sound Garden
Consistently rated Baltimore's best music store, the Sound Garden buys and sells new and used CDs, DVDs, Blu-Rays and video games. This Fell's Point institution also features a large collection of new vinyl and DJ equipment, as well as periodic in-store appearances by a variety of artists. [1616 Thames Street, Baltimore, MD 21231; (410) 563-9011; http://www.cdjoint.com]

PHOTOGRAPHY
AAubreyBodine.com
Regarded as one of the finest photographers of the 20th century, A. Aubrey Bodine's pictures were exhibited in hundreds of prestigious shows, scores of museums, and he won awards against top competition. His photographs were seen in The Sunday Sun from 1927 to 1970. More than 6,000 photographs spanning his career are available online, as is information about licenses, reprints and notecards. [(800) 556-7226; http://www.aaubreybodine.com]

Wild Leek Photography
Wild Leek Photography specializes in portraits of sanctuary, rescued, wild and companion animals. Some of the animals pictured on the Wild Leek website are residents of United Poultry Concerns, Peaceful Prairie, Poplar Springs and other sanctuaries; a portion of the proceeds from the sale of any such prints purchased from Wild Leek go to the sanctuary where the photo was taken. [http://www.wildleekphotography.com]

TATTOOS
Baltimore Tattoo Museum
As featured in Skin Deep, a special tattoo edition of local zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore!, the Baltimore Tattoo Museum functions as both a museum dedicated to the history of electric tattooing and a functioning tattoo street shop all in one! Tour the exhibits and artifacts on display at no charge, or talk to the counterman about which of the Museum's artists is best-suited to your Old-School Traditional, Japanese, Kanji, Black & Grey, Portrait, Flash or Custom-Drawn design. On Saturdays, the Museum accepts walk-in clients. [1534 Eastern Avenue, Baltimore, MD 21231; (410) 522-5800; http://www.baltimoretattoomuseum.net]

THEATER
The Strand Theater
Located in the city's Station North Arts District, the Strand Theater is a community theater dedicated to providing opportunities for women artists, writers, designers and directors. With a focus on producing original works, the Strand hopes to foster a love of theater for a new generation of patrons. [1823 Charles Street, Baltimore, MD 21201; (443) 874-4917; http://www.strandtheatercompany.org]

WORDS
Apprentice House
Apprentice House is the country's only campus-based, student-staffed book publishing company. Directed by professors and industry professionals, it is a nonprofit activity of the Communication Department at Loyola College in Maryland. From politics to veganism to the media, the various topics and authors published by Apprentice House help to educate students about the book publishing process. [(410) 617-5265; http://www.apprenticehouse.com]

"Baltimore's Harbor Haunts: True Ghost Stories"
Baltimore has harbor neighborhoods that have a long and colorful history of industry, immigrants…and ghosts. This spellbinding book - the culmination of a decade of research and first-person interviews by co-authors Melissa Rowell and Amy Lynwander - exposes some of their unknown histories and uncovers 37 hauntings along the waterfront. From the ghost of a drowned boy in Canton to famous ghosts of Ft. McHenry, these tantalizing stories pay homage to the people who remained behind. [http://www.baltimoreghosttours.com/merchandise.html]

Flightless Goose
Gilbert enjoys the usual pleasures of pond life...until an accident changes his life forever. In telling Gilbert’s story, this locally published, full-color hardcover children’s book – written by Eric D. Goodman, with illustrations by Nataliya A. Goodman – tastefully teaches tolerance without drawing attention to it. [http://www.rungoose.com]

The Future Generation: The Zine-Book for Subculture Parents, Kids, Friends and Others
Published by the locally-based Atomic Book Company, The Future Generation compiles nearly two decades worth of the at-times hard-won wisdom of China Marten's zine of the same name. This primer on compassionate anti-authoritarian parenting is crafted to make the reader think about how to deal with children and respect them as human beings. Rooted in an underground publishing tradition, The Future Generation gives voice to an underrepresented and much-needed point of view - especially relevant to the counter-cultural community, but interesting for everyone. [http://www.atomicbooks.com/index.php/future-generation-zine-book-subculture-parents-kids.html]

The Hungover Gourmet: The Journal of Food, Drink, Travel and Fun
Despite having recently published its final printed issue, this indie stalwart, published locally by editor/contributor (and regular Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! contributor) Dan Taylor, lives on through regular updates to its blog, http://www.hungovergourmet.blogspot.com. Visit the website for back issues and related merchandise. [http://www.hungovergourmet.com]

Lulu Eightball, Vols. I & II
Here, the Baltimore-based Atomic Book Company collects the comics from alt-weekly star Emily Flake. Flake's cartoons deal with a variety of subjects, including - but not limited to - life and love and the foibles involved in both; drinking; smoking; bumble bees; monkeys; arm flab; and bad decision-making when it comes to sex. [http://www.atomicbooks.com/index.php/lulu-eightball-volume-1.html]

Rigor Mortis
Edited and published by Baltimore's own Leeking Inc. imprint, this horror zine has heavy zombie leanings, offering stunning all-original artwork, reviews for zombie movies, books, graphic novels, websites and more. Its recently published sophomore issue includes an appreciation of Kinski's Nosferatu; an exploration of the zombie-comedy subgenre; and an essay comparing Romero's original Night of the Living Dead with the 1990 remake. [http://www.leekinginc.com/rigormortis/index.htm]

Mendicant of the Hidden, Votary of the Sepulcher
Released earlier this year, Susurrus Din's Mendicant of the Hidden, Votary of the Sepulcher contains dark poetry inspired by the Masters of the Macabre, Gothic Horror and Ancient Myth/Folklore, as well as recent thanatological photography from various cemeteries, including many around Baltimore. [http://www.susurrusdin.blogspot.com]

Scapegoat Publishing
Dedicated to producing fine art, fiction and non-fictional works of quality for a discriminating audience, Scapegoat Publishing focuses on the dark, sometimes-sinister, often-controversial endeavors of intrepid explorers of our cultural underworld. While perusing its online home, be sure to check out the Reptilian Records site, rife with amazing, rare punk, hardcore, industrial and more. [http://www.reptilianrecords.com]

Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore!
From the harbor to the hills, the submission-based Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark: polished professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet's fleeting sentiment captured in both word and snapshot - a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been named "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Check out the latest issue, or pick up back issues that delve into such topics as rats, transit, crime, scars, tattoos and more. T-shirts and related merchandise available. [http://www.eightstonepress.com]

Sommer Marsden
If you're over 18, come play in "Smut Girl" Sommer Marsden's sandbox, where you'll find all sorts of top-notch erotic literature from the Baltimore-based writer (and regular Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! contributor). Visit her blog, http://www.smutgirl.blogspot.com, for all of her latest doings. [http://www.freewebs.com/sommermarsden]

The Vegan Monologues
There's nothing funny about being vegan, unless you're humorist (and regular Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! contributor) Ben Shaberman. From dog chases to fornicating grasshoppers to chicken stock sabotage, Shaberman explores the lighter side of the meat-free lifestyle. His reflections will put a smile on the faces of vegans and omnivores alike. [http://www.benshaberman.com]