"Edgar Allan Tow"

Around 3:55 p.m. every week day, the tow trucks begin circling the cars unwittingly parked in the "NO PARKING 4:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m." zone in the vicinity surrounding Poe's grave, in Westminster Burying Ground, on Baltimore's west side. Sometimes, when the clock strikes four, they'll follow behind the meter-maid, tag-teaming the sorry bastards and hauling them away two at a time until such time as their cash-only ransom is paid in full. My coworkers, accordingly, have dubbed them "Edgar Allan Tow."

They don't fuck around here, on the west side. I once saw them haul away a DHL van parked along the curb at 4:02, hazards flashing, while the driver was inside an office building making a pick-up.