Hooray for Boobies

If you enjoy boobies as much as I do, show 'em some love...

SMILE, HON: Down to the Underwire

BALTIMORE – For the third straight year, SMILE, HON, YOU’RE IN BALTIMORE! Editor/Publisher William P. Tandy will participate in the annual Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure, which raises funds to combat breast cancer. This year’s event will be held Sunday, October 18, in Hunt Valley, Maryland. A cancer survivor himself, Tandy will once again represent the Oncology Center of Central Baltimore, where he took treatment. To support the cause, please visit Tandy’s fundraising homepage.

In related news, SMILE, HON, YOU’RE IN BALTIMORE! is accepting submissions of your Mobtown-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for the forthcoming SMILE, HON No. 12 through Saturday, October 31, 2009. Creative non-fiction is preferred, though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5” x 7”, 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears.

From the harbor to the hills, SMILE, HON, YOU’RE IN BALTIMORE! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet’s fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – SMILE, HON offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine.

An Eight-Stone Press production, SMILE, HON, YOU’RE IN BALTIMORE! is available locally for purchase at Atomic Books (Hampden); Cyclops Books & Music (Station North); and Red Emma’s Bookstore Coffeehouse (Mt. Vernon). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: EightStonePress


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Eight-Stone Press Fights Cancer, Provides Breast Support

BALTIMORE – Because I love boobies (and their owners) so much, Eight-Stone Press will participate in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure, for the third consecutive year, on Sunday, October 18, 2009, in Hunt Valley, Maryland. Once again, I will be a part of the Oncology Center of Central Baltimore team – the people who, quite literally, saved my life.

Two years ago this month, I wrapped up six months of intensive chemotherapy for a particularly aggressive form of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma that could have well otherwise killed me. To date, the cancer remains in remission, and I feel as healthy as I ever did (if not better), and I wholly attribute this fact to the professionalism and compassion of Dr. Stanley Walker and his top-notch team of nurses and office staff at the Oncology Center of Central Baltimore.

The Komen Race for the Cure is the Oncology Center’s main fundraising event of the year. As such, I feel it is nothing short of my duty to help those who helped me and, in so doing, help others battling any manifestation of this terrible disease. I participated in my first Komen Race about one month after my final round of chemo. Three years later, I’m back at it, still going strong.

These are tough, lean times for everyone, to be sure. But as any who has ever suffered this disease firsthand – be it themselves, family or friends – will attest, things can get awfully tougher. It is for them that I ask you to join me on Race day (10/18) – or, if you are unable to attend, to kindly make a donation on my fundraising page below (and remember, no amount is too small, or too arbitrary):

http://tinyurl.com/ldgwlo

Where do the funds go, you ask? Well, “at least 25 percent of net proceeds are used to support the Komen Award and Research Grant Program. Funding national research is vital as this is where we believe the cures for breast cancer will be found. Since Maryland is home to many prestigious research institutions, Komen funding often goes to cutting-edge research happening right here in Maryland.

“Up to 75 percent of net proceeds stay in Maryland to fund grants that provide transportation to appointments, financial support, appropriate diagnostic testing, and a comprehensive range of follow-up services. Because early detection is the best protection for breast cancer, Komen Maryland sponsors grants that increase the number of women who have annual mammograms and clinical breast exam screenings. Komen grants continue to focus on recruiting patients for clinical trials.

“The programs we fund help to overcome the cultural, social, educational and financial barriers that prevent people from receiving life saving treatment right now.”

For more information on the Komen Race for the Cure, visit www.komenmd.org. And thank you all for your kindness and support over the years.

Stay healthy,

WP Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress


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Here Comes the Judge

Back to Business as Usual, having returned from several days of coastal exile. While there, I inexplicably found myself the object of affection of more than one member of the judiciary. Meanwhile, overdeveloped prostitots paraded their hormonally-induced wares (including temporary henna tramp-stamps) along the shoreline while a TV news crew hovered just offshore. And a 67-year-old woman is lucky to be alive after having been swept overboard in rough seas; fortunately, her recently-installed breast implants (offering no less than 24 pounds of buoyancy apiece) kept her floating face-up until being rescued some 30 minutes later.

Okay, I made that last one up. But I did see a number of such women matching that physical description. And regardless of age, if there's one thing that will never make any sense to me, it's the appeal of fake tits.