TOM LEHRER - "A Christmas Carol"

Relatives sparing no expense'll
Send some useless old utensil
Or a matching pen and pencil
Just the thing I need - how nice...

Cyber Monday

Featuring ghost stories, zombies, glow-in-the-dark Johnny Eck shirts and more, the (revised) Eight-Stone Press Baltimore Shopping Guide lets you shop locally without ever leaving home!

Speaking of which...

Author (and fellow Jersey boy who evidently never shared my questionable sense to leave) Jeff Somers explains why all serious writers need a little pussy...

NASHVILLE PUSSY - "She's Got the Drugs"

Happy Thanksgiving, LDS...

Eight-Stone Press Baltimore Shopping Guide

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Happy Thanksgiving!

This Thursday, I plan to find some indigenous peoples with whom to give thanks. I will bring the booze. We will eat, drink and be merry.

Then, on Friday, I will go back, punch them in the head and take all their stuff.

THE POGUES - "Connemara, Let's Go!" (aka "Down in the Ground Where the Dead Men Go")

Hardcore Mobile Home Sales

Brutally Honest Mobile Home Commercial - Watch more Funny Videos

NO PHONY: Crispin Hellion Glover

For years I’d read about the touring one-man live shows of actor Crispin Glover, one of the few people still breathing for whom I’d stand in line for an hour to meet. But for one reason or other, I’d never had the opportunity to attend one.

That changed last night, when my friend Gavin, his son and I went to the Charles Theater in Baltimore to see Crispin Hellion Glover (indeed, Hellion is his middle name) perform his "Big Slide Show", followed by a screening of his movie It is Fine! Everything is Fine., the second installment in his so-called "It" trilogy that began with 2005's What is It?.

Mainstream audiences are most likely familiar with Glover as George McFly, the father of Michael J. Fox's time-traveling character in Robert Zemeckis' 1985 hit Back to the Future, or his role as the non-speaking "Thin Man" with a hair fetish in 2000's Charlie's Angels. Horror audiences might recall his appearance in Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (which also starred a young Corey Feldman), or, more recently, as the rat’s-best-friend title character in the 2003 remake of Willard. But Glover has perhaps built his strongest cult following with roles like Lula’s cousin, Dell, in David Lynch’s Wild at Heart (1990); burn-out Layne in 1986's River's Edge; Andy Warhol in Oliver Stone's The Doors; and memorable bit parts in movies like Jim Jarmusch's Dead Man (1995) and the following year's The People vs. Larry Flynt (directed by Milos Forman), as well as his turn as the title character in the 2001 adaptation of the Melville short story, Bartleby, just to name a few. (I particularly enjoyed his outing that same year as Jules in Fast Sofa; if you are unfamiliar with it, think of a buddy road-movie that pairs Glover with Jake Busey – yes, Jake Busey – because that’s essentially what it is.)



The evening was entertaining, to say the very least. "The Big Slide Show" is a visual presentation of his series of visual/cut-up/collage books (published under his own imprint, Volcanic Eruptions), accompanied by Glover’s live, at-times manic narration. There isn't much in the way of conventional story-telling here – think more along the lines of a younger William S. Burroughs (sans track marks), armed with a slide projector instead of a Star .380. That said, Glover's impeccable comic timing, coupled with his appearance (hair neatly parted, and a vested, black suit that would make John Zacherle feel envious) and obvious enthusiasm for the work, keeps the viewer engaged throughout.

The evening's feature presentation, It is Fine! Everything is Fine., centers on a man with cerebral palsy (played by Steven C. Stewart, who also wrote the screenplay), his obsession with women with long hair, and the homicidal spree on which he embarks. Stewart wrote the screenplay, Glover explained, as a crime drama in the style of a "1970s TV-movie-of-the-week." The movie is sexually graphic – even Gavin, who has been there, done that (as well as that...at least twice), admitted that no-holds-barred (and, at-times, violent) sex between a middle-aged man with cerebral palsy and an attractive young woman was an entirely new movie-going experience for him. As absurd as the premise might seem in writing, however, the storyline and direction held up within their own context, and were much less abstract (even, dare I say, more conventionally linear) than I had expected.

Interestingly, Glover, in fielding questions after the screening, revealed his anachronistic (even Luddite) views on copyright laws. Citing fear of movie piracy, he has made every effort to keep the movies he's made entirely outside of any digital format whatsoever (indeed, recording devices of any kind are strictly forbidden at his performances). Consequently, it appears the only manner in which to view said films (shot on 16mm film, he explains, and subsequently converted to 35mm) is to attend one of these screenings. Regardless, that he has successfully kept his work outside the digital sphere in the age of Twitter, IM and "sexting" is a truly remarkable feat.

After the show, Glover sat in the lobby and patiently chatted with fans, happily signing whatever memorabilia and knick-knacks they had brought (including the inside of Gavin's thrift-store cowboy hat and, interestingly, someone's copy of Back to the Future Part II, in which Glover had declined to star; when stock footage from the earlier movie as well as an actor made up in his image were nevertheless included in the sequel against his wishes, Glover successfully sued producer Steven Spielberg, eventually settling under terms that have never been made public). For my part, I attempted to present our (un)fair city (besieged of late with questions of image in light of alleged corruption and its portrayal in television shows like The Wire) in positive terms by giving him a copy of my zine, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! - specifically, the "rat" issue, Infestation!.

Capote's Holly Golightly may have been a "real phony", but last night's event thoroughly quashed any questions regarding Glover's authenticity. Think what you will, but he remains, for me, an American original, what Hunter S. Thompson might have called a "classic affirmation of everything right and true and decent in the national character."

"Negro League Baseball Museum Proposed for Baltimore"

Baltimore would become home to the first East Coast museum devoted to Negro League baseball teams and players, under a $4.1 million plan that has been approved by the Dixon administration.

The plan calls for redeveloping Pennsylvania Avenue's historic Sphinx Club and adjacent properties with a sports-themed museum, entertainment and dining complex designed to draw tourists and help rejuvenate the corridor...

Pennsylvania Avenue was a hub of African-American entertainment in Baltimore from the 1920s until the late 1960s, when much of the area was destroyed by rioters. The private Sphinx Club, open from 1946 to 1992, was known for after-show parties with jazz musicians and other luminaries, including Billie Holiday and Cab Calloway...

"Negro League Baseball Museum Proposed for Baltimore," by Edward Gunts. The Baltimore Sun. November 19, 2009.

Knock-Knock...

Back in high school, I had a friend named Sean who would always get put out if he felt the group wasn't paying the attention he felt they should be paying to whatever he was saying. "Sean - Sean who? Fuck him," he would mutter.

Being good sports, we promptly turned it back on him as a knock-knock joke:

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Sean.

Sean who?

FUCK HIM!

Needless to say, he didn't find it nearly as amusing as the rest of us did.

SMILE, HON, YOU'RE IN BALTIMORE! No. 12, Coming Soon from Eight-Stone Press

Coming soon from Eight-Stone Press: Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! No. 12...

[Cover: "Wheels of Industry". Photograph by A. Aubrey Bodine. Copyright © Jennifer B. Bodine. Courtesy of www.aaubreybodine.com.]

LEROY VAN DYKE - "The Auctioneer"

I heard on the radio this morning that Canadian folksinger Gordon Lightfoot turns 71 today, which got me to thinking about some of his music. On his 1980 album Dream Street Rose, Lightfoot performed a good cover of Leroy Van Dyke's "The Auctioneer". Here is the original...

MICA Marks "Transgender Day of Remembrance" with Movie Screening

The Maryland Institute College of Art (MICA) will mark "Transgender Day of Remembrance" by hosting a screening of Unraveling Michelle beginning at 7:00 p.m. in Falvey Hall, in the Brown Center, 1300 Mount Royal Avenue, in Baltimore.

Directed by Michelle Farrell and Dan Shaffer, Unraveling Michele delves head-first into the gender-bending highs and lows of Farrell's male-to-female metamorphosis through her own eyes, as well as those who've been closest to her during the process. The documentary tenaciously captures the range of reactions of those in Michelle's personal and professional lives as they get to know the person they had known for years - all over again. Farrell will introduce this free screening, and will conduct an audience question-and-answer session following the film.

For more information on the movie, watch the trailer below, or visit www.unravelingmichelle.com.



***

In related news, are you interested in placing your songs in local films or video, or scoring for local filmmakers and videographers? If so, local arts activist/ advocate, Baltimore Songwriters Association Board member, and Baltimore Women’s Film Festival Strategic Relations Director Lois Tuttle is working with local producer/ filmmaker Michelle Farrell to create a webpage of songwriters interested in having their songs featured in locally-produced film and video, as well as those who wish to score and compose for local filmmakers. The webpage will be featured on Farrell's website, Absolute Independent Pictures. There is no cost for you to be featured on this website.

If you wish to be featured on this website, e-mail Lois at lois@loislife.com by December 31, 2009. Please use "songwriter/ musician contact and links for AIP website" in the subject header. In the body of the email, answer the following questions, and/or include the following information:

1) Name of artist/ band
2) Contact information (phone, e-mail, etc.)
3) Agent/ representative (if any)
4) Website
5) Genre/music type
6) Do you score?
7) Fees required for music (if any)? (Can say: To Be Negotiated)
8) CD(s) or songs available for download?
9) Unsigned or label-affiliated?
10) If signed, which label?
11) Are you a member of any of the following organizations: Member of Baltimore Songwriters Association (BSA), SAW (Songwriters Association of Washington) and/or WAMA? If so, which ones?
12) Region you hail from (MD/VA/DC)

-30-

THE POGUES - "The Rake at the Gates of Hell"

Local Zombie Zine RIGOR MORTIS on Today's SIGNAL

BALTIMORE – Attention, horror fans! Tune in to today’s edition of local arts and culture program The Signal for an interview with Davida Gypsy Breier, editor/publisher of the Baltimore-based zombie/horror zine Rigor Mortis (and regular Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! contributor). The program airs at noon, and again at 7:00 p.m., on 88.1 WYPR-FM, or you can listen online.

In related news, if you missed Smile, Hon editor/publisher William P. Tandy on the October 28 edition of The IndieBookMan Radio Show, you can now listen to the podcast online. Hosted by Brad Grochowski, The IndieBookMan is a biweekly radio show which airs on Umbrella Radio Wednesday evenings at 8:00 p.m. (EST) and explores issues related to independent publishing. Check out other episodes of The IndieBookMan Radio Show online.

For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, MD 21212
wpt@eightstonepress.com
http://www.eightstonepress.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress


-30-

LUNA - "California (All the Way)"

He asked her, Please stop quoting Rod McKuen in your postcards
Can't understand it anymore
And if you're gonna read your poetry aloud to me
I'll have to show you to the door...

LUNA, "California (All the Way)"

And, 15 Minutes Later, They Had Their *Second* Taste of Whisky...

If you are or plan to be in the vicinity of Los Angeles on December 3, make every effort to drop by the legendary Whisky a Go Go, as The Lost Patrol return to West Hollywood, bringing their unique blend of dark, haunting surf, lounge, and spaghetti western-influenced sounds...

INDIEBOOKMAN Hosts SMILE, HON Editor

In case you missed it, you can now listen to a podcast of The IndieBookMan Radio Show #4, featuring special guest William P. Tandy, editor/publisher of the zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore!.

Hosted by Brad Grochowski, The IndieBookMan is a biweekly radio show which airs on Umbrella Radio Wednesday evenings at 8:00 PM e.s.t. and explores issues related to independent publishing. Check out other episodes of The IndieBookMan by clicking below:

Powered by Podbean.com

Boss Says, "No Dice, Joel, You've Got to Work Late"

NEW YORK (AP) - Singer/songwriter Bruce Springsteen has been named the new official spokesman for wealthy, middle-aged, developmentally challenged dwarves, said Billy Joel (pictured here, with Springsteen), Director of the Center for Wealthy, Middle-Aged, Developmentally Challenged Dwarves, at a press conference held Wednesday at the group's headquarters in Montauk, New York.
"He's not quick with a joke," Springsteen said of Joel, "and he won't light up your smoke, but there's no place I'd rather be..."

"They're Coming to Get You, Barbara!"

Hey, zombie/horror fans! Tune in this Friday to local arts and culture program The Signal for an interview with Davida Gypsy Breier, editor/publisher of Baltimore-based horror zine Rigor Mortis. The Signal airs at noon (and again at 7:00 p.m.) this Friday, November 13, 2009, on 88.1 FM (WYPR), or listen online at www.signalradio.org.

Left Hand, Meet Right Hand...

Bureaucracy is a beautiful thing: Everybody says they didn't do anything wrong, and everybody admits everything went wrong. And a suspect goes free...

"Nobody Admits Fault and a Suspect Goes Free," by Peter Hermann. The Baltimore Sun, November 8, 2009.

Coming Soon: SMILE, HON No. 12

Coming soon from Eight-Stone Press: Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! No. 12...

[Cover: "Wheels of Industry". Photograph by A. Aubrey Bodine. Copyright © Jennifer B. Bodine. Courtesy of www.aaubreybodine.com.]

In Case You Missed It...

Listen to Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! Editor William P. Tandy on the October 9 edition of local arts and culture program The Signal.