Way to go, Mobtown...

Beat those fucking tourists - that'll learn 'em for coming here and spending their hard-earned dollars...

WILD SUMMER NIGHTS

Yes, John Cafferty is the poor man's Springsteen. And yes, the ensuing quarter-century has basically confirmed that Michael Pare can't act for shit. But I grew up not far from Tony Mart in Somers Point, NJ, where parts of Eddie and the Cruisers were set. I loved the movie, and the soundtrack was one of the first albums I ever bought (that's right, Smut Girl - album ;)...

BALTIMORE ARTS DIRECTORY AND FORUM Offers Free Listings

Billing itself as "the only online Directory of and for all of the Arts and Artists in the Baltimore area, BALTIMORE ARTS DIRECTORY AND FORUM is offering free online listings to local artists. For more information, e-mail Davis Morton at contact@baltimoreartsdirectory.com.

Gifford Publishes Final Installment of "Sailor & Lula" Saga

Barry Gifford has published The Imagination of the Heart (Seven Stories Press), the final chapter in his ongoing saga of Sailor Ripley & Lula Pace Fortune.

I find Gifford's writing to be extraordinarily cinematic, telling many stories through short, punchy, dialogue-laden chapters (and in the process offering heavy nods to classic pulp novels, film noir and the dark underbelly of American culture); not surprisingly, a few of his works have been translated to screen, most notably the 1990 David Lynch film Wild at Heart, based on the Gifford novel of the same name and starring Nicolas Cage (before he started doing silly shit like stealing cars and setting his skull on fire) and Laura Dern as Sailor and Lula, respectively...

LUNA - "Slide"

You can never give the finger to the blind
Sometimes I act so stupid, but you never seem to mind
That's no way to be, laughing at the deaf
I know that I'll repeat myself when I've got nothing left...

LUNA, "Slide"

BOOKGASM Praises RIGOR MORTIS

Louis Fowler calls the debut issue of locally-produced zombie zine Rigor Mortis "a great primer" in the genre, especially "for those of you just getting into zombies and the living dead." Read his complete review at Bookgasm.

Premiering in January 2009, Rigor Mortis is the brainchild (braaaaiiiinnnnss!!!) of Baltimore-based zinester Davida Gypsy Breier and includes zombie-related essays, book and movie reviews, and page after page of original artwork by artist Bojan. Supplementing the hard copy is the Rigor Mortis blog.

FRIDAYS WITH WARREN

This is a "feature", of sorts, that began on Facebook. Over the course of several weeks, it seemed that every time Friday rolled around, I was in that Zevon frame of mind and invariably posted some video of his. AJ Michel later dubbed it "Fridays with Warren".

Today's selection is "Splendid Isolation", here featured in live performance on David Letterman. Zevon was a frequent guest on Letterman's show (if memory serves correctly, I believe the two had been roommates at some point way back when), and he'd often sub for Paul Schaeffer whenever he was out of town. In October 2002, having been diagnosed with terminal mesothelioma, Zevon gave his last public performance on Letterman; in the ensuing interview, Zevon offered his now oft-quoted summation of life: to "enjoy every sandwich." He died in September the following year.

I was fortunate enough to see him live no less than a half-dozen times. I really miss his shows - as much for his banter between songs as the music itself. One time, while performing on stage at the Theater of Living Arts on South Street in Philadelphia, he remarked that he'd been in the music business for 30-odd years.

"How many folks out there playing now will be around in, say, 10 years," he posited, then, after a protracted pause, added, "Take Alanis..."

At this, a handful of people in the audience groaned; Morissette was all over the radio dial in those days.

"Nah," Zevon added dryly. "She'll still be playing. Ten years from now, she'll be up here on stage, and some drunk guy will be down in front yelling, 'Hey, Alanis, do the one where you give the guy the blow job.'"

THE MUMMIES - "Justine"

NASHVILLE PUSSY - "She's Got the Drugs"

I'd like to see Ruyter Suys fight Angus Young...

I think she could take him.

JABBO SMITH & HIS RHYTHM ACES - "Michigander Blues"

SMILE, HON No. 11 Contributor List

Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! No. 11 draws dangerously near to completion. Contributors include:

SUSAN BEVERLY
A. AUBREY BODINE
DAVIDA GYPSY BREIER
RYAN COFFMAN/SUSURRUS DIN
CARYN COYLE
MARTHA GATEWOOD
E. DOYLE-GILLESPIE
SIOBHAN FITZPATRICK
SHARON GOLDNER
ERIC D. GOODMAN
RYAN GRAHAM
GEORGE HAGEGEORGE
J. GAVIN HECK
ALEX HEWETT
JOE HIGLER
STEVE HIMMER
JILLIAN ROSE KRUPP
SOMMER MARSDEN
JEN MICHALSKI
SARAH JANE MILLER
FERNANDO QUIJANO III
BENN RAY
FAYE RIVKIN
ROSALIA SCALIA
JOSEPH CHRISTOPHER SCHAUB
JENA SHLOCK
LISA SINGER
ALIZA SOLLINS
KEN STANEK
RON TANNER
E.B. WEXLER

Lots of good stuff in this one, folks. And by lots, I do mean lots - four extra pages' worth. Stay tuned...

Track Homicides in Your Neighborhood

Courtesy of The Baltimore Sun.

Baltimore Police Investigate Animal Abuse Case

I'm not really that big on dogs - much less pit bulls - but fuckin' people, man...

Poisoning Pigeons in the Park

We'll murder them all amid laughter and merriment / Except for the few we take home to experiment... - Tom Lehrer, "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park"

Tom Lehrer was an American original when it came to musical satire, with a more deliciously warped sense of humor than one might readily associate with a Harvard mathematics professor...

MANU CHAO - "Politik Kills"

E(n)tymology: New Paintings by Matt Muirhead

Hey, I've wrestled the man in full clown make-up (yes, we were both wearing pants), so you know it's gonna be good...



WHO: Antreasian Gallery

WHAT: E(n)tymology: New Paintings by Matt Muirhead

WHERE: 1111 W. 36th Street, Baltimore

WHEN: May 20, 2009 - June 8, 2009; Reception May 29, 7:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.

CONTACT: (410) 235-4420

Positively READ STREET

Special thanks to The Baltimore Sun's Nancy Johnston for the shout-out on The Sun's "Read Street" blog concerning the launch of the ESP blog. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to make the "Read Street" tweet-up last night at The Windup Space due to a prior work-related engagement. Next time!

New LOST PATROL Shirts Now Available

I first discovered The Lost Patrol (TLP) in summer 2007, while undergoing treatment for cancer; somehow, for me, their music provided the perfect soundtrack for chemotherapy (which I mean in the best possible way). It was thus with great excitement that I met the fall 2008 release of their seventh studio album, MIDNIGHT MATINEE, which, when The Mobtown Shank's Benn Ray invited me to compile a year-end favorites list, easily made my Top Five:

Were David Lynch to direct a spaghetti western featuring a climactic showdown between Carl Sagan and Carlos Castaneda, The Lost Patrol might provide the perfect soundtrack. Hailing from the greater New York City area, the band’s unique sound reflects a seemingly bottomless well of influences ranging from Morricone to Dick Dale to Joy Division. Guitarist Stephen Masucci’s reverb-drenched Mosrite along with the boundless desert skies of Michael Williams’ 12-string guitar provide a most complimentary backdrop for the otherwordly vocals of Mollie Israel (who replaces the band’s longtime lead singer, Danielle Kimak Stauss). While Israel’s voice occasionally belies her youth, her impressively solid debut nonetheless suggests the promise of even better things to come. Choice tracks: “On the Run”; “Homecoming”; “Colors Turn Grey”; “Jukebox on the Moon”.

Now, TLP have introduced a brand-new band t-shirt, available through their website. Also, look for them July 25, 2009, when they play the New Deal Cafe in Greenbelt, Maryland.

Rough Proof of SMILE, HON No. 11 Complete

Now if people would only stop slinging feces at me from every direction - which reminds me of an encounter I once had on Greene Street...

The intersection of Greene and West Fayette Streets is rife with material, particularly given its close proximity to a) the VA hospital; b) a methadone clinic; c) "World Famous" Lexington Market, the vicinity of which is favored by some entrepreneurial spirits for re-sale of their dose of methadone; and d) the University of Maryland School of Law, just to make things interesting.

One day, while walking south on Greene Street, I encountered a lively chap deeply engaged in conversation with himself.

"You might be my friend," he announced to no one apparent, "but you are definitely NOT my friend!"

Remembering my manners, I hung back a few paces, so as not to interrupt the conversation. "You might be my friend," he repeated, though this time with greater urgency, "but you are DEFINITELY NOT my friend!"

As we neared the light at Baltimore Street, the man threw his arms in the air. "What is it?" he declared as he stopped at the curb. "Monkey shit is what it is. It's all monkey shit!"

Indeed, I nodded inwardly, as I came to a standstill alongside him. "No!" he announced, shifting tack. "It's, it's APE shit! APE SHIT is what it is!" And with that, he abruptly turned to face me, and, staring me straight in the eye, posited, "And what kinda job that sound like to you - scrapin' together a coupla' poundsa' APE SHIT?!"

But alas, before I could find out how much the job paid, he had bounded off into the cross traffic of Baltimore Street.

Things were going so well...

...on the new issue of Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore!, and then God started bellyaching. Sky began to grumble, and then it started to pour. But the breeze is divine. And the smell - ah...

I'll post a contributor list for the Smile, Hon soon. Packed issue, with four extra pages, which must sound like the dinner bell to the US Postal Service.

SMILE, HON No. 11 nears completion

Last night, I finished dropping in the copy for the forthcoming issue of Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! Simply waiting on a few contributors to confirm their bylines/bios, proof a hard copy, and the issue should drop fairly close to my intended pub date of on or about the first of June. Thanks to all of the contributors and readers for their patience and understanding.

CCFA and BSA Present "Take Steps, Be Heard Sing-Out" Concert & Charity Walk

The Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America and the Baltimore Songwriters Association invite you to join them on Saturday, May 30th from 4-8 PM, for a unique concert and charity walk in beautiful Federal Hill Park. The ‘Take Steps- Be Heard- Sing Out’ concert will features five extremely talented, locally-based songwriter- musicians (Karter Jaymes, Woody Lissauer, Susan Souza, sahffi, Eddie Emokpae) and one band (“The Starvation Army Band”). Concert is open, and free, to all participants of the CCFA Walk. This event promises to be extremely family-friendly, and fun. It features, also, a Moonbounce and ‘Dancing Shrubs’ (courtesy of Ambush Theater) in the Park.

Phantasmagoric Magic Lantern Spectacular

WHO: Professor Hersh and Susurrus Din

WHAT: Phantasmagoric Magic Lantern Spectacular

WHERE: Load of Fun Theatre

WHEN: Friday, June 5, 2009

COST: $5

TAV FALCO & PANTHER BURNS - "Born Too Late"

"The future is already obsolete, and out of date..."

Tav Falco and the Unapproachable Panther Burns in full tango mode, performing "Born Too Late"...

ANDRE WILLIAMS - "Jailbait"

"Mr. Rhythm" Andre Williams, performing his classic "Jailbait" in this very nicely-shot live performance...

THE SLICKEE BOYS - "I Go Ape"

Washington, D.C., garage-punk legends The Slickee Boys, covering Neil Sedaka's "I Go Ape"...



Each December, they do a reunion show at The Ottobar in Baltimore. I've gone the last few years with Hungover Gourmet Dan Taylor. They're grayer and paunchier, but the Slickees still fucking rock. Well worth your time.

LOS STRAITJACKETS - "Tempest"

The utterly fantastic and totally unbelievable instrumental band Los Straitjackets play "Tempest" in a promotional video for the film Psycho Beach Party...

"Smile, Hon" Editor on THE SIGNAL

Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! Editor William P. Tandy joins WYPR's local arts program The Signal to share an experience from his days living on the road as a full-time traveling salesman...

Welcome to the official Eight-Stone Press blog

That's right, ladies and gents - our collective OCD (and well-nigh schizophrenic proclivity to refer to ourselves in the third-person, plural no less) has driven we here at Eight-Stone Press to create this blog for the purposes of a) catering to the whims of my - that is, our - inner marketing whore, b) promoting the creative efforts of those guilty by association, and c) promoting all things with which we are intrigued, captivated, smitten, or of which we simply entertain dirty, dirty thoughts.