Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts

Friday, December 18, 2009

CHANGE TO UNITED STATES POSTAL CODE, Section 508, Paragraph 12

And so, in the absence of any objection, the unofficial creed of the United States Postal Service is hereby amended:

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. Unless it's 20 minutes till they close for lunch. And he or she is the only one behind the counter. With 14 people in line. Prompting said United States Postal Service representative (hereafter referred to as "the Reperesentative") to turn those outside away by announcing, "We will reopen at three," before locking the door in their faces. Thereby ensuring that the outside people remain that way, while those inside who have finished their business remain inside until such time as said Representative has deemed them fit for release. Fire code? Not our department, sir. Wait to get in, wait to get out. We reopen at three. Next.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!


This Thursday, I plan to find some indigenous peoples with whom to give thanks. I will bring the booze. We will eat, drink and be merry.

Then, on Friday, I will go back, punch them in the head and take all their stuff.