(High-speed) cruisin' for a bruisin'

"'It's the most successful attraction at Navy Pier in Chicago, and we expect that it will be very successful in Baltimore,' he said."

Yeah, and Chicago sits on Lake Michigan, a big-ass, open body of water...

[Source: "High speed cruises coming to city", by Edward Gunts, The Baltimore Sun, March 26, 2010.]

Affair between Nelson Algren and Simone de Beauvoir subject of forthcoming biopic

Word is that Johnny Depp and his partner Vanessa Paradis have been cast to play Man with the Golden Arm author Nelson Algren and French feminist writer Simone de Beauvoir, respectively, in the upcoming film My American Lover. More details here.

Eight-Stone Press at the BMA this Saturday!

BALTIMORE, Md. - Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! Editor William P. Tandy mans the Eight-Stone Press table from 11:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. this Saturday, March 27, 2010, in the Baltimore Museum of Art’s Fox Court, as part of the DIY Marketplace component of the Baltimore Fair for Contemporary Prints & New Editions. Pick up the latest issue in the series, the raunchy Smile, Hon, You're in Flagrante!, back issues, Smile, Hon t-shirts and more! Other local print/publishing forces on hand will include Leeking Inc. (zine-review zine Xerography Debt, horror zine Rigor Mortis); Atomic Books; Ben Claassen III; Closed Captioned Comics; Narrow House; Red Emma's; Shattered Wig Press; Squidfire; The Holster; Jordan Jeffries and Gary Kachadourian.

From the harbor to the hills, the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet's fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). For more information, e-mail wpt@eightstonepress.com.

-30-

Yankee Doodle

Yesterday, retired U.S. General John Sheehan suggested to the Senate that a massacre of Muslims in Srebrenica in 1995 wouldn't have necessarily happened had the Dutch military not been, well, gay.

A lot of folks are taking issue with his statements, and rightfully so...but the word around the locker room is that Sheehan still hasn't come to terms with his youthful indiscretions with Alexander the Great. Besides, if the failure of military campaigns comes down to sexual orientation, it's no wonder that Custer and his Seventh Cavalry shopped at the Little Bighorn.

ATTN: Baltimore/Orioles/Baseball/Photography Fans

This morning, veteran Mobtown writer (and Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! contributor) Rafael Alvarez sent the following call for photo submissions:

In the spirit of Mr. Leroy Merriken, the Sunpapers photographer who shot every O’s season opener for nearly 70 years, Welcome To Baltimore, Hon! is launching a season-long baseball project in which a different photograph of Oriole Park at Camden Yards will be taken every day–rain or shine, game or no game, home or away–and posted on its Web site.

The key to the idea’s success is getting as many people involved as possible: kids, amateurs, apprentices, professionals (Kristine Buls and Jennifer Bishop are already on board); heck, even my mother, a bleeding orange O’s fan still getting over the release of Melvin "Smiley" Mora.

We are aiming for six months of pictures of Camden Yards, one a day from April 1 through as deep into October as the Birds are able to go. Different shooters, different perspectives, same pile of bricks. Each morning, the photo from the day before will be on view at Welcome To Baltimore, Hon!

Every photo will be a hotlink to the Web site of the photographer’s choice. Thus, if you are a professional chef who happens to love photography, baseball, or both, double-clicking on your Camden pic will take a reader to your restaurant’s web site. And so on.

In the end, we will have a true "Baltimore family album" of more than 180 sequential photographs of one of the most cherished dots on the Baltimore map: inside the stadium, outside, and around. From hot dogs to the homeless; players to party girls.

If you are a true student of the game, take a shot of someone coming in high to break up a double play. If architecture is your bag, the green girders may wind up in print. We are sure to get portraits of more than a few babies–cute and not-so cute–in Oriole onesies.

Beyond this, the project is sure to take on a life of its own.

All contributors must sign a release to allow Welcome To Baltimore, Hon! to use their work, and two or three high resolution shots must be emailed the same day they are taken to camden@welcometobaltimorehon.com.

The month of April is already spoken for and May is filling up fast.

So say cheese, hon, and play ball...


[Photo: Bruce Goldfarb]

Fisherman's Friends receive contract to record sea shanties album for Universal Music

A group of Cornish fishermen has signed a £1m pound recording contract to become the first group ever to release sea shanties on a major label...

[Source: "Sea shanty sailors net major recording deal", BBC News, March 18, 2010.]

Greener on the other side

Out from many a mud-walled cabin eyes were watching through the night / Many a man, his heart was beating for the blessed morning light... - "The Rising of the Moon" (trad.)


I'm not really sure what to make of this strange, alternate universe in which one kicks off St. Patrick's Day with a renewed prescription for antidepressants...

For the record, I do not recommend crossing two gallons of Guinness with a double dose of Wellbutrin. You will experience black-out periods from which you will not recall a thing...and not because you were necessarily passed out. Accountability, folks. However, here are a few images of what I can recall of the 2010 Baltimore St. Patrick's Day Parade, held Sunday, March 14, before All Went Dark:

Baltimore Mayor Stephanie MacRawlings-MacBlake:



The Georgia State Patrol (who, I'm guessing, were probably in town testifying, or maybe serving a warrant):



One of my favorite aspects of the St. Patrick's Day Parade, however, is its unpredictability; unlike parades associated with other holidays, like Thanksgiving or the Fourth of July, you never really know what will come creeping down Charles Street next (or how you will get back to the year 1985):



Beyond a smattering of smartphone pix, however, I have little else to jog the memory than the contents of my backpack the next morning (which I've come to think of as the Shane MacGowan Starter Kit):



Perhaps next year I will march alongside those who distribute things like shamrock decals and green plastic titty-beads, casting teeth into the unsuspecting throngs of beer-swilling grannies, Ancient Hibernians and green-lipped douchebags...