Eight-Stone Press

SMILE, HON, YOU'RE IN BALTIMORE! seeks submissions for upcoming "sex" issue

2009-12-16T13:32:00.009-05:00

BALTIMORE - Literary zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of sex-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for a forthcoming special issue through Tuesday, January 5, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred (we're not looking for Penthouse's sloppy seconds here), though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears. (Note: Contributors may use their own names, or, for anonymity, adopt a nom de plume, preferably of a raunchy or comical nature, for the purposes of the issue.)

From the harbor to the hills, the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet’s fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Previous "theme" issues have tackled such topics as rats, scars, crime, tattoos, transit and the supernatural.

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore); Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago) and Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress

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WEIRD AL YANKOVIC - "The Night Santa Went Crazy"

2009-12-15T14:08:00.000-05:00

Then he smiled as he said
With a twinkle in his eye
"Merry Christmas to all
Now you're all gonna die!...

Come On, Give Us a Peek...

2009-12-15T09:23:00.000-05:00

THE RAMONES - "Merry Christmas (I Don't Want to Fight Tonight)"

2009-12-15T08:58:00.000-05:00

THE SIMPSONS - "Sex Cauldron?"

2009-12-14T11:54:00.001-05:00

WARREN ZEVON - "Even a Dog Can Shake Hands"

2009-12-12T14:16:00.002-05:00

"Even a Dog Can Shake Hands" originally appeared on the Zevon album Sentimental Hygiene. Trivia: Zevon is backed here (as he is on the rest of the album) by three-quarters of REM (Buck, Mills and Berry), with whom he would collaborate on a subsequent album under the name Hindu Love Gods. The song was also used as the opening theme of the short-lived television show Action...

SMILE, HON Release Party Tonight!

2009-12-10T12:11:00.002-05:00

Picture an alternate universe in which the King of '70s/'80s/'90s Pop was not Michael Jackson, but, in fact, Earl Scruggs. Then, come listen to it tonight, as Baltimore's own Wild Bonerz tear it up with a free live performance at the Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! No. 12 Release Party! The fun begins at 7:00 p.m. at Cyclops Books & Music, 30 W. North Avenue, Baltimore, MD 21201...

For more information, e-mail wpt@eightstonepress.com or andy@cyclopsbooks.com.

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Famous Last Words, No. 8,978,835

2009-12-09T11:57:00.002-05:00

God himself could not sink Australia...

Of course, this means we'll have James Cameron's even-more-bloated reinterpretation of Baz Luhrmann's movie to look forward to (though they have both worked with Leonardo DiCaprio, so there should be some consistency)...

If He Can't Get Streisand, Will He Settle for Midler?

2009-12-09T10:33:00.002-05:00

From The New York Times:

Senator Orrin G. Hatch, a solemn-faced Republican with a soft spot for Jews and a love of Barbra Streisand, has penned a catchy holiday tune, 'Eight Days of Hanukkah'...

Like Larry Craig, it's no doubt a real toe-tapper.

BALTIMORE SCIENCE FICTION SOCIETY Young Writers' Contest

2009-12-08T11:36:00.006-05:00

OPEN TO:
Maryland students, ages 14-18

CASH PRIZES:
First - $150; Second - $100; Third - $50

The three winners shall also receive complimentary registrations for the Balticon Science Fiction Convention for themselves and their parents or one guest each and a free Balticon T-Shirt.

a. The deadline is March 31, 2010.
Submissions must be in the field of science fiction or fantasy. For more information, visit the contest website: www.bsfs.org/bsfsywc.

b. Submissions shall be no more than 2,500 words in length.

c. All submissions should include a title page with the title of the story, the entrant's name, home address, evening phone number, and e-mail address if possible. Also, please include your English teacher's name (or note if home-schooled).

d. Paper submissions must have numbered pages - all submissions must have a footer with the title and page number. They should not have the entrant's name or other identifying information on the individual pages. Paper submissions should be typed or printed, double-spaced, on 8.5" x 11" (letter-size) paper.

e. Electronic submissions must be sent as an e-mail attachment in either Microsoft Word or Word perfect format. Otherwise, they must be printed out and submitted on paper. One contestant may submit multiple entries, but only one prize may be won by any one entrant.

f. The winners will be contacted before the convention and their names will be announced to the public at the next Balticon on Memorial Day Weekend, 2010, just before the Masquerade at 8:30 p.m. Winners need not be present to receive their prizes.

g. Address paper submissions to:

Balticon Young Writers' Contest
BSFS, Inc.
P.O. Box 686
Baltimore, MD 21203-0686

h. E-mail electronic submissions to: "ywc AT balticon DOT org"

i. Judges shall be drawn from the membership of BSFS, Inc. All submissions become the property of Baltimore Science Fiction Society Inc. (BSFS, Inc.), and may be published in Society publications.

For additional information, call the BSFS Building at (410) 563-2737 or the coordinator at (410) 823-8913, or e-mail "ywc AT balticon DOT org". Convention information is available online at www.balticon.org. For general organization information and science fiction resources, visit www.bsfs.org.

Smile, Hon...

2009-12-08T10:41:00.004-05:00

..."It's Unusual for Downtown Hotels, in General!"

How Dirty / Hot / Filthy / Sloppy / Wet / Nasty Can You Be for This Issue?

2009-12-08T10:03:00.002-05:00

Come on, folks, we're talking Baltimore here...

IGGY POP - "Death is Certain"

2009-12-07T20:21:00.000-05:00

Come On, Let's See What Ya Got...

2009-12-06T18:51:00.002-05:00

I'm Always Amazed...

2009-12-06T18:45:00.002-05:00

...by the number of people who invoke reading Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! and going to the bathroom in the same breath. (Indeed, one of the earliest critiques I received came by way of a postcard, which bore the scrawl, "I laughed so hard I almost fell off the toilet.") Given the commode's status as one of the last bastions of relative solitude, I consider it the utmost compliment.

Sunday morning...

2009-12-06T07:56:00.002-05:00

...comin' down, motherfucker!

Do the Big Nasty, Baltimore!

2009-12-04T09:41:00.002-05:00

SERGE GAINSBOURG - "L'anamour"

2009-12-04T09:19:00.000-05:00

Take It Off for SMILE, HON!

2009-12-03T09:09:00.003-05:00

Smile, Hon...

2009-12-02T13:13:00.004-05:00

Promoting a (somewhat) positive image of Baltimore, so City Hall and the State's Attorney's Office don't have to.

Don't Risk Indictment...

2009-12-02T10:50:00.005-05:00

...with big-box store gift cards this holiday season. Instead, check out what these local, independent businesses have to offer.

THE MIGHTY BOOSH - "Tale of the Crack Fox"

2009-12-02T08:48:00.002-05:00

Lately, I've been watching The Mighty Boosh, from the UK, which may be the new epitome of fucked-up, ludicrously absurd humor. Behold this clip from the "Crack Fox" episode, perhaps my favorite yet...

TOMMY ROE - "Sheila"

2009-12-01T14:35:00.000-05:00

Eight-Stone Press Publishes SMILE, HON No. 12

2009-12-01T08:58:00.003-05:00

BALTIMORE – Shakedowns, drug busts and old bones in the cellar are but a few nuggets unearthed in the "urban terrarium" of Smile, Hon, You’re in Baltimore! No. 12, edited by William P. Tandy and published by Eight-Stone Press.

In this issue, JEANNIE HEGARTY clears her calendar for a drug bust next door; JOE HIGLER consoles a hometown son-made-good on a tragic anniversary; BEN SHABERMAN fancies himself a 2A contender; fate deals RAHNE ALEXANDER a flush; and LISA SINGER decides Baltimore is as far south as she’s willing to work, plus a whole lot more. Other contributors include:

- KEITH A. BERRY
- SUSAN BEVERLY
- A. AUBREY BODINE
- DAVIDA GYPSY BREIER
- ROB BRULINSKI
- CARYN COYLE
- S.J. FERRANDI
- SIOBHAN FITZPATRICK
- MARTHA GATEWOOD
- E. DOYLE-GILLESPIE
- SHARON GOLDNER
- TRACEY HEDRICK GRAHAM
- ROB HATCH
- J.G. HECK
- NEIL LEVIN
- SARAH JANE MILLER
- DAVIS MORTON
- BENN RAY
- DAN REED
- ELIZABETH FAITH REED
- TIMMY REED
- ALISON SEAY
- JEFFREY SHIPLEY
- JENA SHLOCK
- WILLIAM P. TANDY
- MATT TERZI

A release party featuring author readings, a live performance by the Wild Bonerz, refreshments and more will be held beginning at approximately 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, December 10, at Cyclops Books and Music, 30 W. North Avenue (at the intersection of Maryland Avenue), Baltimore, Maryland 21201.

From the harbor to the hills, the submission-based Smile, Hon, You’re in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark: polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet's fleeting sentiment captured in both word and snapshot – a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored, DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by both Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004).

Smile, Hon, You’re in Baltimore! is an Eight-Stone Press production and is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore); Cyclops Books (Baltimore); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago) and Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, MD 21212
E-mail: wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress

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TOM LEHRER - "A Christmas Carol"

2009-11-30T12:40:00.002-05:00

Relatives sparing no expense'll
Send some useless old utensil
Or a matching pen and pencil
Just the thing I need - how nice...